Trains v/s Planes- A Dilemma with Kids

Over this weekend, I got to know what it feels like, to be a regular business traveller. Samhith and I spent the weekend at Chennai with my sister-in-law, Sandhya, attending a function at her place.  We went by train, leaving Bombay on friday evening, and returned by a night flight on Sunday, as Samhith had to attend school today (Monday). Whew! Were we tired! 

Of course, the trip was worth it, because we had a blast ! Shankar’s family was all there, as well as friends and relatives, many of whom we didn’t remember…The function, a puja to Lord Ayyappa, went off very well.We all enjoyed it. I esecially loved the decoration (ook out for photos ..I shall upload them soon….) Samhith enjoyed the bhajan, and even sang one song !

But this post is not about the function. This is about the journey……..

As I mentioned earlier, we went by train, and were lucky to get a good group of co-passengers, mostly 25 year-olds going back home after a conference in Bombay. Samhith made friends rather too fast, and thankfully, they diidnt resent it, and played with him, all through the journey, letting him listen to music on their mobiles, and showing him videos on their laptop… but even after all that, he was really tired and fed up with travelling, and wanted to get off the train… This, in spite of going in a Third AC Coach this time ! I have always enjoyed train journeys and want him to do the same, so I take along loads of books, and play some games with him almost all the time, but somehow he stil doesnt enjoy it. God alone knows how i can make him enjoy train travel a lot more…..

While returing by air, he was quite happy……..after all, it is only  a couple of hours……   and he asked me why we hadnt flown to Chennai too…. I tried to explain  that we travel by air only when it is necessary, and that train travel itself is part of the holiday we are taking, but I dont think he was convinced…… Anyway, now he feels that it is perfectly possible to go to Chennai for the weekend, and asks me why we can’t do it every weekend….

Explaining  financial constraints to children is never easy, but important, and a task that I have to perform some time or the other.  But I still dont know how to g about it….. We shall be travelling again, by train , during our summer holiday, and am already planning out activities to do while we are sitting indoors for 12 to 24 hours at a stretch… Hope this time around, I have more luck, and actually succeed in making him look forward to a train journey………. 

All you young moms out there, Please do suggest some games or activities to keep  a 5 year old busy in trains…….

Incidentally, here is another thing I have noticed….. Samhith seems happier in the II Class compartment when we are travelling more than 20 hours in the train…. Maybe because he can look outside, buy things from the vendors who swarm around at every station, and in general interact with a lot more people, than he can in an AC coach.

Now, is this something I have imagined, or is is something you too face ? I ask this of  all of you, as my husband doent agree… He says that the II Class is too noisy and dirty, and there is to much dirt… Samhith can’t possibly enjoy it… He says I am imagining things, and now refuses to book in II Class, unless of course, nothing else is available.. Please do get back to me with your ideas………..

The Story behind the Story

Hi Folks, my son loves stories…he keeps asking for more and more and more….. the only problem is, he likes hearing the same stories againm and again, and again,  while I get sort of tired of the repetition. The other thing is, he has this fascination for Krishna stories , which doesnt seem to go away, and he wants more of them, and new ones too…. so last week, just to keep  him engaged, I made up a story of my own. I do that sometimes,  but this time, I also decided to write it down, so that I could actually get back some real feedback … my son’s views can’t count..he simply loves all the stories I tell him !!!

So, please people, read my story  and tell me what you think.

I have not been able to decide what to call my story. So, suggestions are welcome !!

The Story….Please Suggest a Title…..

 

 

    Deep in the heart of India, in a small village, lived a little boy named Shyam. He lived with his parents and grandparents in a cottage in the village. He was loved by one and all. He loved to play with everyone and listen to the stories his mother and grandmother told him. His favourite story was about Krishna, the ninth of the Dashavatars, or incarnations of Lord Vishnu. He loved to hear the stories of Krishna over and over again. Amma, please tell me again how Krishna stole butter from his neighbors’ house with his friends house! He kept asking his mother all the time. As he grew, his fascination with Krishna grew, especially when he learnt that his name, ‘Shyam’ was also one of Krishna’s names.

    His fascination with Krishna grew to such an extent, that soon, he started behaving like Krishna. He entered his neighbors’ houses and ate up all the butter and curds. He hid their clothes while they bathed in the river, broke the pots of water they carried back, and in general troubled them in every way he had heard Krishna used to. His mother was at her wits end. All the neighbours and villagers started complaining, and she did not know what to say to them. And her son, no matter what she said to him, he took it as a joke. As far as he was concerned, he was just behaving like Krishna, the same Krishna that everyone in the village prayed to. When Krishna had been mischievous, then too, people had complained to Yashoda, his mother, but it was all in fun. Everyone actually wanted Krishna to come to their house and trouble them playfully. Then why would they complain about him? He too was Shyam, wasn’t he? Much as his mother tried to explain, he never understood.

    Finally, one day,Shyam’s mother lost her patience. She had just had a huge group of women coming home to complain once again about her son, and she had enough!! Shyam came home only to get the worst scolding he had ever received from his mother She raved and ranted about his behaviour, and then finally said, “I have had enough of you behaving like this. Just get out of my sight, and stay out till you learn how to behave!” Shyam was stunned! He had never seen his mother so angry. It was evident that he was going to get no support from the older members of the family. His grandparents simply looked on, obviously in agreement with their daughter-in-law. Too stunned to answer, Shyam just started walking towards the riverbank…his favourite place, just outside the village. He sat there, looking at his reflection in the water, reflecting on the things that had happened.

    He suddenly became aware of another reflection in the water, appearing behind him. ‘No, it couldn’t be’, he thought, as he looked first at the reflection, and then turned slowly around. But yes, it was, it really was Krishna. Krishna, in person, standing behind him, looking at him, Shyam, with a smile on his lips. If Shyam had been stunned before, now he was absolutely tongue-tied! He wanted to say so many things, but he couldn’t think, let alone speak. Then Krishna himself broke the silence. Laying his hand on the small boy’s head, he said, “Did I get you into trouble?” No!!! The answer burst from Shyam’s mouth like a rocket set afire. No! It wasn’t your fault, he said. “But you tried to act like me, didn’t you?” asked Krishna, smilingly. ”Yes, and that is just what I don’t understand” said Shyam. “When people didn’t get angry with you, why do they get angry with me? I just wanted people to love me just like they loved you.”

    “People do love you very much. They just don’t want to be troubled by you. See, when I was born, the people who were born along with me, all the villagers, the children, the elders, everyone was part of a divine plan. It was like a drama being enacted on a stage for the benefit of the spectators, in this case, people in general. I was born on earth to teach people the values of love and duty, and things took the course I wanted them to take. It is not the same situation with you, or for that matter anyone else. Again, if you read about my life, you can also see in how many instances and in how many ways Balarama (my brother) and I helped the people around us. That is what you must learn from my stories. Not just how mischievous I was!” Krishna answered with a twinkle in his eyes.

    Shyam seemed to understand exactly what his dear Krishna was saying, for he heard him with full concentration. Then at last he said, “I think I can understand now what my mother and you want me to do. You want me to make friends and make them love me , by helping them, not getting into their houses and forcing them to play with me. Is that right, Krishna? “Yes! You have got it just right! From now on, you must only be good, and no body must ever complain about you. Can you promise me that?” asked Krishna. “I promise” replied Shyam, “but when will I see you again?” You can see me whenever you want , but just meditating on me, by closing you eyes, and concentrating on me, and then, after you grow up, take care of your parents, your family, your children, and then, when you have finished all your duties, you can come to me for ever and ever and ever….”

    And as Krishna said these words, he seemed to disappear into the reflection in the water. Shyam got up with a start. Oh, Krishna had gone, but he had promised him that he would be able to see him whenever he wanted. But, he had a promise to keep too…

    Shyam ran all the way home. His parents were sitting on the doorstep, waiting for their little boy, wondering where he had gone.

“Amma, I am home… I met Krishna, and he explained everything to me, and from now, I am going to be a very very good boy….”out it came, all in a rush… Shyam’s mother didn’t understand…She thought “The poor boy was hungry and tired. He must have slept off and had a dream… let me take him in and feed him…” and they all went inside…

    And you know what, from that day, Shyam was a very good boy. He helped everyone, and troubled nobody. He became the ideal boy from then on, and everybody used to say, “Oh, what a nice boy that Shyam is” he was good not only at home, but at school too, he studied well, and grew up to be a very good young man. And he never forgot his friend Krishna!!!

 

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Fun At The Fair

Yesterday, after long time, we all went out together. Appa, Amma,(my in-laws) Shankar, Samhith and myself. The last time we all went out was to the circus, and this time it was to a Fair. We had been wanting to see this handloom fair,which comes every december to Bombay. They have good stuff , especially clothes, slippers, bangles, etc. at decent prices, and my son has quite a lot to keep him occupied -there are a number of rides, merry-go-rounds, etc. Last year we had returned disappointed, as Samhith was just showing an interest to ride in them, but the quality of the merry go rounds was awful Shankar was rather skeptical about going there this year, but he gave in to our demands, and finally joined us.. And I must appreciate that. He had participated in the Mumbai Marathon- the 21 Kms Half Marathon, just that morning, but he stil came, just to please Samhith…. A good Dad, isn’t he?

Well, anyway, we were in for a pleasant surprise. The rides were excellent, brand new ones, and lots of them! Samhith enoyed himself.

And this year there was a bonus…. They had made a replica of the famous Amarnath Shrine ( For those in the dark, Amarnath is a cave in the himalayas where a natural Lingam is formed of ice every year, and is a popular pilgrim spot, to which thousands of people trek every year) They had made a path apearing to be a mountain path, with small temples dotting the path, going through water along the way, and finally a cave inside which a white lingam was kept. Not very original perhaps but interesting to the multitudes of Indians who yearn to make the Amarnath yatra, but are not able to make it for various reasons. We all enjoyed it, and hope to make it to the original shrine at least once in our lifetime.

We had lots of fun, ate lots and lots of junk food  while Samhith went from one ride to another. We had anticipated spending about an hour there, but ended up spending three, and returned home close to midnight. And whats more, I have already made plans to take my sister Kanthi there when she has a day off from her busy college life.

For now, you can see the photos I took there.. For more, wait and watch !!!

A Mother’s Worries

I read an interesting blog the other day, about instilling values about money, and finance in general in kids..http://jezziemapuche.wordpress.com/2007/12/19/how-to-raise-a-financially-savvy-child/

As a mother of a four year old, I am constantly trying to instill the right values in him at an early age, and the world around us scares me all the time..

Just two days back, my cousin visited me. She is a first year medical student, and we got into an argument regarding the proposed compulsory one year rural internship. It has been apparent from the newspapers that the move has been opposed strongly by students all over India, but I was shocked when she also supported the popular view that rural training wasn’t necessary and important, as it wouldn’t bring in any money…..It all boils down to money finally… She was actually under the impression that rural service meant working in slums… No matter what I said, she wouldn’t  agree that there was a world of difference between a village and a slum. That’s when I realised that most of the youngsters today, born and brought up in metros, haven’t seen a village in their lives.. They don’t really know what the real India is like, deep in the heart of villages…That most of India doesn’t live in cities, but in the villages, is only a textbook concept to them.

Again, all that the current generation cares about is MONEY. They all want to study in a field which will get them a job as soon as possible, a job which will pay them 5 figures to begin with. As soon as they get  a job, they want to buy a car, and then a house, go abroad, and the get married. All this, before they are 25. And parents don’t seem to mind either…Of course,who listens to parents anyway !

On one hand, we have people who have given up good jobs abroad, and are working in slums and villages, trying to help people lead a better life, like some of the Times of India Lead India finalists, and on the other hand, we have a majority of the youth running after materialistic things…. We need far more of the former to actually make a difference….’

Which brings me back to my main area of concern… My child… I sincerely hope he grows up to be a good human being, trying to help other people, and I am trying my best to make him so…..

Taking a leaf from Sudha Murthy whom I admire, I make him give clothes and toys he has outgrown to our maid, who has a child of his age. It helps that I live with my in-laws, who are extremely generous by nature, and provide food, clothing , and books to  the needy year after year. It also helps that my husband and father-in-law are involved in voluntary service activities in villages near Mumbai under the aegis of the Sathya Sai Organisation….. I try my best to expose him to all these activities as much as possible, and yet,  I am worried.

Maybe I am just a mother, who worries all the time, but when I open the paper in the morning and read about rapes, suicides, and shootings by students, it worries me.. I am trying my best, and I only hope that the one up there stands by me.

I am sure there are many other mothers like me out there. I would like to hear from all of you….

Who needs to learn ? Children or Parents?

I attended my son’s sports day yesterday, and what really stood out was the difference between the parents and the children.

The children were so well behaved, marching with exhuberance, participating in all sports with enthusiasm, not minding whether they won or lost, accepting both with a smile…. being courteous to all…… helping teachers when needed,  cheering on when the others were participating….. I was  truly happy with my choice of school for my son….. the teachers were teaching the kids just what I wanted them to learn….

And then, there were the parents…..exhilarant, no doubt at seeing the success of their loved ones, but noisy, and uncaring about the others, who were there for the same purpose…… People stood up in their places, not caring that they were obstucting someone’s view, they took pictures incessantly, never mind that the invite clearly requested parents not to take pictures- photographs and videos would be taken and given later to them, by the school. There is nothing more irritating than seeing a parent run on to the field to take a photograph, and nothing more distracting than a parent talking loudly on a cellphone while we are dying to know who will be awarded the best sportsperson trophy this year…..

I wonder why parents behave like this. Every year, the school authorities make it a point to emphasize that they like to statr things on time, yet, some people are always late. The teachers reprimand parents for coming near the stage or track and taking photographs, yet people continue to do so…..If parents set examples like this, what can we expect from the children ?As of now, the children do listen to their teachers, but if they keep seeing their parents not caring about what the school authorities say,what will be the situation ?